Our Kids Play Hockey
Our Kids Play Hockey is a podcast that focuses on youth hockey, offering insights, stories, and interviews from the hockey community. It provides valuable advice for parents, coaches, and players, covering various aspects of the game, including skill development, sportsmanship, teamwork, and creating a positive experience for young athletes. The show frequently features guests who share their expertise and personal experiences in youth hockey, both on and off the ice.
The show features three hockey parents, who all work in the game at high levels:
- Christie Casciano-Burns - USA Hockey Columnist, Author, and WSYR Anchor
- Mike Bonelli - USA Hockey Coach and Organizational Consultant
- Lee M.J. Elias - Hockey Entrepreneur, Author, and Team Strategist
In addition to the main podcast, there are several spin-off series that dive into specific aspects of youth hockey:
1.Our Girls Play Hockey – This series highlights the growing presence of girls in hockey, addressing the unique challenges they face while celebrating their accomplishments and contributions to the sport.
2.The Ride to The Rink – A shorter, motivational series designed to be listened to on the way to the rink, offering quick, inspirational tips and advice to help players and parents get into the right mindset before a game or practice.
3.Our Kids Play Goalie – This series is dedicated to young goalies and the unique challenges they face. It provides advice for players, parents, and coaches on how to support and develop young goaltenders, focusing on the mental and physical demands of the position.
Together, these shows provide a comprehensive platform for parents, players, and coaches involved in youth hockey, offering insights for all aspects of the sport, from parenting, playing, or coaching to specialized positions like goaltending.
Our Kids Play Hockey
The Ride To The Rink - How To Protect Your Mind From Junk For Youth Hockey Players
Today's episode is a game-changer as we navigate the landscape of mental performance with the assistance of Dr. Cassidy Preston. As a mental performance coach and the author of the Amazon bestseller "Mindset First," Cassidy illuminates the significance of shielding our minds from unnecessary distractions, particularly those stemming from social media. He equates harmful mental inputs to junk food, underlining the "input vs output" concept in a way that resonates and makes you rethink your mental diet.
Our conversation doesn't stop there; we probe into the crucial role a positive mindset plays in sports, especially for our young athletes. We share effective strategies to maintain focus, sideline distractions, and how to stay connected to the joy of the game - the 'why' you started playing. We delve into the profound influence parents can have in cultivating a healthy "mental game" in their children. Dr. Preston's insights from his book provide practical tools for athletes to boost their mental performance. Get your notepads ready as this episode is packed with rich insights that promise to enhance your mental game and help you enjoy the journey, be it sports or life.
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Hello hockey skaters and goalies around the world, and welcome to another edition of the ride to the rank. It's going to be an extended edition today because we have a really important subject matter. I have brought in someone to speak to you. A mental performance coach is a good friend of mine, someone that I learn from every single time that I watch him, see him or read him. Dr Cassidy Preston enjoys this today and I have to say it right at the top, cassidy, your new book, mindset First, just hit number one on Amazon in its category, which is as your friend. I'm excited for you, but I think it says a lot about where we're going as a culture right now that your book about mental performance is number one.
Speaker 2:No, thank you so much, and it's a pleasure to be on. It's always fun to connect to your lead.
Speaker 1:Oh, it goes both ways, my friend, and for those of you listening, today we're going to be talking about a really important topic about how to protect your mind from junk, not just on the game days, right, in general, because if you're a young player out there today, there's a lot of distractions between social media, sometimes the things you can see on TV, if you still watch TV, and it's really important, as you written in the book here, cassidy, about your input versus output on game days, on game week, storing the season. Can you dive into a little bit about that chapter and why you wrote it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's such a fundamental way of just looking at, like, what are we doing with our time and energy and our mind particularly, and because we all know our minds so important in the mental game but the input is going to dictate the output. And the analogy I like to use is like nutrition it's like your input dictates your output. Like you eat healthy, like you're going to have better energy, and so when we look at stats, some social media or a lot of social media, those are like donuts, it's like they're entertainment, right, like you can have a few donuts here and there, but if you're having donuts all day, every day, like what kind of output are you going to get? And that's what I call then the mental junk. And we need to protect our mind from how much are we consuming? Looking at stats online, looking at all this external comparison on social media, these things, when we just feed our mind that generate a mindset that's going to worry about results, consume and feel the weight of the stress and the burden of expectations, et cetera, our confidence gets tied to those things. It's not going to allow us to play free confident in the moment. So we need to filter and protect our mind from that. Some things you can't avoid, then we have to filter, but we definitely some things we can just say no to Like. Don't be on social media or TikTok for two hours a day or, and especially, on game days and practice days. There's been proven the detrimental for consuming that much social media and those types let alone, it's been proven. I was funny. I had one guy mention me. He's like, oh, my kid stopped doing TikTok on game days. Are you thinking it's related? I'm like, yeah, that's related. So yeah, that's the high level of this input output. But there's some other things that that will dive into. But yeah, I know I'm glad you picked this because I think it's such an important one that you know how we define success and what we put our attention on really matters.
Speaker 1:Yeah, look, another reason I picked it and again, it's more than just social media, although I loved your, your donut analogy is that I think a lot of times, with this one specifically, even as adults, right, we don't even realize we're doing it. You know you get in a click hole. It might an hour might have gone by. So this is something you know as young athletes. Those of you listening really got to be aware of this. Cassie, I do want to dive in a little bit, though it's like you know. Look, we talk about donuts like McDonald's on game days, right, yeah, the smart player knows probably shouldn't do that, but we know why, with the donut and the McDonald's, it does not have the nutrition you need to be at your best. Can we maybe talk about the aspects of TikTok, instagram, social media, snapchat that make it unhealthy for your brain? And again, I'm looking at the book while I'm saying this, because you talk a lot about being in control and how it can take your focus away, productivity, it away. Can you dive into that for me? Like, why are they unhealthy?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'll loop in there, because, especially with parents and you talk about the parents impact, because, again, I do it like I don't have Instagram on my phone because it's just too easily accessible Like I go on it on like an iPad. But and I'll loop in quick too, the stats online, right, parents are often maybe the kids aren't looking, but the parents are and then they're having the conversation with the kid and that's the input. If you win today, you can rank here. If you do this, you'll be yeah, it's dangerous oh man like, oh, you got this many points, so you're like it's like no, no, no, that's you're putting in the wrong inputs. And with all of those things and with the social media, there's a bunch of different challenges that come up from it, one of which is the constant external comparison. Right, you're constantly looking outwards and looking outwards then for validation and the feelings of meaning and internal happiness, that kind of like. It's a very flawed way to look and like find meaning in life, like it's really important to spend time with your own thoughts, find things that create real meaning and connection, not this, you know, online. Now, I'm not saying the online world's bad because, like we, I work with a lot of athletes, our team does, and they're gonna be on social media. It is how they connect and it's not inherently a bad way to connect. But again, how much and in which way? And is there other ways? Especially on game days and practice days and how much of it? Where, if you wanna be priming your mind to perform, and we got them doing imagery, we got them doing naps or meditation you got them, like you know, maybe doing a little game day film or something you know, doing a walk or some light activity to relax, something to get you present right. Yeah, to get you present these things, you do those things. But then you do two hours of TikTok Like, oh, it's like, and use the food analogy oh, ate my chicken, rice and salad. And then you had three donuts for dessert, like, oh, just ruined the good meal you had stomach the whole time. Yeah, so it's like it's. So that's a good way to look at it and the why. One of the other big things with social media again I'm picking on TikTok, but it's you know, instagram's pretty much just adopted TikTok with the reels and the sun. It's just a delayed factor, but it's that you know every seven seconds, the swipe mentality, where you're just constantly searching for to be entertained at a really short, you know, attention span. That like you need to have to be able to be present for longer periods of time and to be able to navigate through the emotions and distractions throughout a game, versus constantly being distracted and like swiping a hundred. Like it's. So it's proven. Like there's great research that highlights that increased social media and some of those effects around mental illness disorders like depression, anxiety, et cetera, when you're consuming too much of the social media, so especially after you've completed some of the main reasons. Yeah, it can get very toxic pretty quick.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was just saying like everybody's feeds a little bit different, but it can become a pretty dark place. So I just want to reiterate Cassidy is not saying no social media ever, but we are saying, you know, on a game day you might want to rethink your strategies here. I think another thing too not to keep it on social media, but the idea, like you said. You know, when we were kids, the equivalent to me of this would have been like being on the phone with someone all the way up to the time it's to go on the ice, like we would never do that right. Cause it would be distracted. You needed your time to get focused, to be ready for the game. You also give a really great case study in this chapter of a player you've worked with, zach, who played AAA, and how he was up against it going into the second half of the season. I'm just looking at it here, but you helped him. I'm just I'm gonna read it. He did a personal scorecard, redefined his own definition of success and then what I loved is that you know, when we look at the results of this case study, it wasn't first like, oh, I had so many more points and six no, it's. I was able to reconnect to the love of the game and my mindset improved, which really is an aura of the entire book and your body of work. Right that you got to reconnect with that side of the game. And then social media or some of these distractions stats, standings can really take you out of a place where you're forgetting why you're, why you played the game in the first place.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's, and I'll leave it into. So there's what not to do and then there's what to do, and one of those big things I alluded to it was imagery, and one of the key things we do in imagery is often have them reconnect to why they play the game in the first place. And a great way to look at that is it's not like a list. Well, here's the reasons I play. No one of the best ways to do it is a story. And so go back to when did you first fall in love with the game? In and of itself, and when you can get reconnected to that, it's a feeling that comes out. And so there's the external goals. Those changed over time. As you climb the ranks. Those change. But the internal, why that feeling of the joy of the game? There's an initial spark, and so we get players in their imagery. Go back to when you were six or eight or 10. And when you first fell in love, and remember that for 15 seconds and you get reconnected to that. That's a simple little thing that can go a long way. That's the healthy input, right, that's your meat and potatoes or steak and whatever your pregame meal is, but the healthy inputs.
Speaker 1:It's not the donuts, yeah, yeah, not the donuts.
Speaker 2:It's definitely not the donuts and yeah, so it's a great way to look at it and a lot of people. I'll share the story because a lot of people find it very helpful. It's a variation of John DeMartini I shared in one of the earlier chapters or maybe it was this chapter, but just around we lose sight of the why and a lot of people. I use this analogy of a 105 year old lady who's the matriarch of her community and she's got this flower bed on either end of her backyard and these 12 year old boys love going to play football there because they throw the football and catch it in a nice soft flower bed, so they love it. Old ladies losing their minds. She's like these kids, what are you doing? You ruin my flowers, stop playing. They're like screw you, we're gonna keep playing. And so she's like, oh, what am I gonna do? She's like I'll call the cops. Like, nah, I can't call the cops. They're 12 years old. So she gets sneaky and she starts to pay them to play. The kids are like this is sick. We're not only. We get to play this game we love. We're getting five bucks every week to come play in this ladies backyard. This is going great. And then she starts to pay them less and it goes down to $3, $2, $1, 50 cents a quarter. The kids are like, screw this, we're not playing anymore. They lost sight of why they were playing the first place. And that's the same, for I see this with 12 year olds, 15 year olds, let alone seven like you guys climbing the ranks, girls climbing the ranks. They lose sight of why, right, they think the goal and the external things are their. Why? No, those are external goals, right, and intentions. There's nothing wrong with those, but don't make that your core. Why, unless they connected to that level of the game? And again, that input matters. Are you putting input that feeds the engine that focuses on all the results and the external comparison, or are you putting an input that keeps you grounded in the level of the game, the mindset and who you want to be and how you want to show up? And so that flower bed story, that helps, because that separation of, well, my why is external things? No, it's not Like that's an external goal, your true why? Your intrinsic one. You have one. A lot of us lose sight of it, so staying connected to that is very powerful.
Speaker 1:Well, look, and I think that's great advice, whether you're six or 26, right, and you know, I think it's also important to remember, no matter where you're at on the journey, that if you're not sure you're feeling that, why right now you can get that back. I mean, that's something that where I'm at, cassie, I mean, I reconnect with that all the time. Probably easier now at my age than it was maybe in my 20s, but for those young kids listening, you know, that's kind of like a superpower for you, right, like you love to play. And parents, if you're listening, you play a huge role in that right. One of the things, cassie, I say to my son and daughter before they take the ice every single time is two things no matter what happens out there, I'm going to love you. And then I think also as important, I love watching you play. I love watching you play, and it's so important that you never lose sight of that but also are, as Cassie said, aware of the things that can infiltrate your ability to do that. And again I want to reiterate we're not saying social media is evil and don't ever go on social media. That's a choice everyone's got to make on their own, but, like most things, it's a dessert, right. You cannot eat dessert three meals a day and expect really good outcomes with that right and finding the ways to be confident. Again, referencing the pages here, the inputs of focus, resilience, composure, confidence, those are things that get you in the zone right. Those are the things that you want to have. And look, I can't say enough good things about this book for the parents and the kids. Listening Mindset first. Again, it's available everywhere, right? Amazon, dr Cassidy, pressoncom, and you know, cassie, we're going to have you back on again Again. Cassie also runs something called CEP Mindset, in which he works with young athletes to get them well, not just focus that wouldn't be enough but to really help them work on this side of their game. Because, as we both live in this realm, cassidy, that you know what you got to do physically to get your body in shape mentally, you have to be able to work at it just as much. And again, I said this to you before the show, I'm going to say it to the whole audience I wish I had this book, specifically this book, when I was a young player, because the tools that you have written in here would have deeply impacted the way I approached the game. So thank you for writing it number one.
Speaker 2:Thank you All right and again go ahead my bad, yeah, and I'll just say like, yeah, and that's why I wrote the book, like, because my home personal struggles as a hockey player and that's why I got into the work that I get to do now is there's got to be a better way, right, there's got to be a faster way to work on the mindset in the mental game that's practical and personalized. And so it's now condensing it all into this pretty, you know, concise, yet very practical book that athletes can dive into, engage and get a lot out of, you know, at their own speed, their own time and comfort of wherever they want to read that book. So, and I'll add in one quick thing too around the why, but the players, but also the parents and you highlighted it really well, there you're like, you know, you're like I'm here, I love watching you play, right, like that's your why, you stay connected to that, whereas a lot of parents, they forget their why and their why is like Do better on the four check today? Yeah, yeah, as like they're happy when their kid performs well. Or why are we focusing on mindset? Or why are we not on this? Because I want to see you do better results, and then their why is so connected to the results too? And so, as a and then, what does that do to the athlete? Right?
Speaker 1:you're right.
Speaker 2:Makes them stay connected to the results. And so, you know, the words you say impact them. But it also helps set your own tone, which then you know, just you know, imparts onto them. Like you know, they pick up on your body language, the tone, the way you say things, not just the words. So it's so, it's a good reflection. I'm glad you brought that up as well.
Speaker 1:No, it's my pleasure. And again, look, we all preach this right. It's about focusing on what you can control and I think what's great about your book here is that this is a great starting point to kind of understand that methodology and philosophy. And again, you go into some great things in here, including, like I love, the chapter on the game day prep. We're going to probably share that with the audience in the future. Just reading through that, I was like, yeah, yeah, I needed this 30 years ago. But mindset first is available now again wherever, I'm guessing, wherever books can be sold Again number one on Amazon right away. Man, that's an accomplishment, congratulations on it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you so much. I appreciate being on and love the work you're doing, and it's always, always a pleasure to catch up, lee.
Speaker 1:Thank you, man. All right, so this has been Dr Cassidy Preston with Leo Elias on the ride to the rink. Wherever you're playing this week, we wish you the best. Remember to have a great time, have fun, remember why you love the game and, as always, skate on. Ok, I fly.
