The Ride To The Rink - Reflecting on Your Hockey Season: A Player's Guide

As the hockey season wraps up, it’s time to hit pause—and look back.

In this episode of The Ride to the Rink, Lee MJ Elias and Mike Bonelli team up to help young players reflect on their season the right way. Whether you hoisted a championship trophy or just gave it your all every day, there are key lessons waiting to be uncovered—if you take the time to look.

Lee and Mike break down a coach-approved reflection process, including:

• ✅ How to assess your personal growth beyond stats

• 🧠 Why timing and mindset matter when you reflect

• 🏒 What to consider about your team, your coach, and even your parents

• 💬 How honest conversations can help set the stage for future success

This isn’t just about looking back—it’s about building a stronger foundation for what’s next. Every season is a stepping stone. Let’s make sure you’re stepping forward.

👉 Listen now and start your season reflection today!

#YouthHockey #HockeyDevelopment #HockeyParents #HockeyLife #TheRideToTheRink #OurKidsPlayHockey

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Transcript

Lee MJ Elias [0:08 - 0:52]: Skaters and goalies around the world. And welcome back to another edition of the Ride to the Rink. It's Lee and Mike with you today. And when you're listening to this, your season is probably concluded or is concluding. You're getting to the end of the regular season. So we want to give you a coach's guide on how to reflect on your season as a player. Player. So Mike and I are going to go over some things that you can do, maybe you have done, maybe you didn't do, to help you kind of organize your thoughts at the end of the season. It's a really important thing when you finish anything, anything of note that you take the time to reflect and look back and see what you learned or can learn or want to learn from it in the future. So, Mike, why don't we start with you with just the generic, you know, the season's done. What are some things kids should start reflecting on right away? 

Mike Bonelli [0:53 - 1:31]: Yeah. So, I mean, I often look at this like, just like in a game, right? You often, you go into a game, you go into your season, you're at the end, and just, you know, take the time to reflect and write down, like, three things that you didn't like about the season and three things you did like about the season. Like, and it doesn't have to be like, I scored a million goals or, oh, I wish I was a better player, but really think about, like, the, The. The. The team and your. And your relationship within the team, and think about, like, what are the three things I really liked and what are three things that I wish I would have thought about more or improved on. That's a good starting point. 

Lee MJ Elias [1:31 - 1:31]: Yeah. 

Mike Bonelli [1:31 - 1:53]: For just taking a deep breath. You've just won the championship last night where you lost three weeks ago, and you're sitting around your house. Just think about those, those things in relation to you as the individual player. Not really how your team did, but what did you do? What could you have improved on? You know, what do you like and what do you dislike? 

Lee MJ Elias [1:53 - 3:23]: Yeah, I think, too, you bring up a good point when you do this. Reflection matters. If you reflect five minutes after winning a championship, your answers are going to be a lot different than if it's five minutes after a big championship loss. So I think, kids, it's important that you get yourself to kind of a calm place before you do this. You can kind of take, you know, a good look at it. Sometimes emotions can play into how we think and how we reflect. If you're feeling elated, you're going to feel great about everything. So it's important you just kind of get yourself in that. That kind of calm place to do that. And as Mike said, you know, maybe you write these things down. Maybe you just make mental notes. Maybe you put them in your phone, in a notebook or something like that, and then it's okay after you do that, if you just let them sit there for a little bit, you don't have to create next year's goals right away. Now, if you. If you know right away. This is what I want to do. Write it down. But the point I'm trying to bring up is you want to come back to these notes. You know, when you're a few. A few months has gone by and you've reflected a bit and some time has gone by, there's a lot of things that could happen there. Okay, so that's number one. Number two is we're talking about your season, kids. Like how you reflect on your output, what you want to do. I think it's also important that you reflect on. On your coaches, too. Not in a damn, that guy who's horrible or anything like that, but what do you like or dislike about your coach? It's important when you're younger to realize what works for you. What aspects of coaching do you enjoy? Do you benefit from? And what aspects do you not enjoy? You know, is a coach, did he push you really hard? But did that make you better? Right. That's not a negative. 

Mike Bonelli [3:24 - 3:24]: Always. 

Lee MJ Elias [3:24 - 3:53]: Right now, if they did that in a way that turned you off and you don't want to play anymore, that's not good. All right, coaches, as coaches, I can tell you this, kids, we have to push you. We want you to be better. We want you to develop. So sometimes that means we got to push you a little bit more than you want to be pushed. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Okay. But you definitely want to reflect on your coaches, find what worked, what didn't work, and maybe write that down as well, because that'll help you in the future. Mike. Right. Decide potentially what coaches you want to play for or even explain to a coach. This is how I learn. 

Mike Bonelli [3:53 - 4:51]: Yeah. It might be a big thought. Right. For depending on the age of the player and you guys listening to this. But reflect on the coaches and their values as it relates to your family's values and it relates to your own values. Like, what do you value in a coach? Do you value a communicator? Do you value somebody that's going to pat you on the back? Do you Value somebody that's a skill developer as opposed to an X's and O's coach. Like, what do you value somebody that you know gets players recruited on to the next level. Like, so you, you, because you're the one that has to help make these decisions, especially as you get older. Hopefully you're more involved in the decisions that are made moving to new teams and new levels and new organizations. But you have to understand first what your values are before you can help your parents determine what team I want to go out for the next time, right? 

Lee MJ Elias [4:51 - 6:55]: 100%. And then the last one, kids, this one can be probably the scariest, is you got to reflect on your parents or your guardians and let's go over exactly what that means because I think most of us have a really great relationship with your parents. If your parents who are probably listening to this with you, maybe pushed you too hard or made you feel a little too much pressure, you should have a conversation with them about that. And parents, if you're listening, you should want to have that conversation as well. Kids, I'll tell you this right now. A lot of times your parents, they love you. They're also just trying to push you to get the best out of you, but you're a separate whole person, okay? And look, we as parents, we're not perfect either, right? So I think it's really important to maybe reflect on your parents what you do, like what you don't like about what they do and then ask questions. And then this is kind of a key point here I'm about to make. Kids, just because you reflect on your coaches and your parents doesn't mean it's a one way conversation. They might have some feedback for you as well. All right? And you got to be willing, if you're willing to give them the feedback of, hey, mom, dad, coach, you really pressure me during the season. You got to be willing to accept the, the comeback of, yeah, I pressured you because I think you can do better or that's, that's how I, I do it because I want you to do better. And then you can have a good conversation of, well, like that doesn't really motivate me and here's how I'm motivated. Parents, you can ask your kids, if you're listening, how are you motivated? Right? The conversation is key. All right? We do too much assumption in a lot of things in life of I assume you're going to feel this way. I assume this is what motivates you. Kids, you know yourself better than anyone, okay? That's the truth. Nobody knows what's in your head more than you. So having a good conversation with your parents, which can be scary. And I admit that is important, right? And look, your parents care about you. If they're having the conversation with you, if they sit down and have that conversation, they care about you. But I think, Mike, it's an important thing of. Just to review of, you know, did your parents do great? Were they always there and supporting you? That's also something to tell them, hey, you really were there for me this year. I really appreciate that. Or, hey, I really needed you in these moments, and I didn't feel like you were there. Not easy conversations, but they're important if you want to continue to play the game. 

Mike Bonelli [6:56 - 8:50]: Your parents are your financier. They are your. They. They are your chauffeur. They are the people that enable you to do this great sport. Find ways to communicate with them so you can get the best out of their ability to get you where you want to go. And sometimes if you're not on the same page with that, it becomes. It often becomes. It's too late, you know, to. To. To. I don't want to say fix. It's not about relationships. It's about just the communication with mom and dad or whoever is bringing to the rink every day and, and letting them know when you're tired, when you're burnt out, when you're hungry, when you're. When. You know, like, I know I got to go to this tournament, mom, but do you know I'm not doing well in English? Like, I'm really struggling. I'm going to miss a big test on Friday. I really like to be there. Like, it's something. It's really important for me. You, as you get older, you have to be able to have those conversations. They're not comfortable, and they go counterintuitive to giving it all for your team and being there for your team and. And being there to compete and win, win games. But at some point, you, as the player at the end of the year, reflecting on what could you have done to help you get better and set yourself up for success later on down the line. Because no matter who you play for, when you're 7, 8, 9, 10 years old, they really don't care what you look like when you're 16, right? You need to care. You and mom and dad need to be the ones that say, here's where these are my goals is where I want to be. Have those conversations with mom and dad. So they reflect where you want to get to and what the values of your family are, then you can determine, wow, was this past year set me up for that success or did it actually hinder my success? And you could have those conversations as early as, you know, seven or eight years old, depending on what team you're on. 

Lee MJ Elias [8:50 - 9:54]: Yeah, that's true. And that brings us to kind of our final overarching point, Mike, which is this. If you went out there this year, you led your team in goals, you won the championship, great. If you went out there and none of that happened and you lost in the final game or you didn't even make the playoffs, that's great, too. Okay? And here's why, kids, you're part of a developing structure here. Your goal is to become the best hockey player you can possibly be. Okay? So some seasons are going to go really wonderful. Some seasons are not. Just remember this, and we talked about this in the big episode this week, too. However your season ended is not who you are. Right? It's not going to last forever. If. If no matter what side of the table your season ended, that doesn't define your whole season. Right? The season's defined by what you did the entire year. So just remember that as you go into the off season that sometimes seasons end in pain more often than not. Sometimes they end in elation and championships and wonderful things. Either case, it's not your entire future, right? You feel the moment, you enjoy the moment, or, or you experience the moment and then you move on, right? Mike, It's. It's not a definition of the whole season. That's a big part on reflecting. 

Mike Bonelli [9:55 - 11:11]: No doubt about it. That's your. That you're. What? This last weekend wasn't your last. It wasn't your season. And I think if you can reflect and say, wow, what. You know, what if we would have won those games in early September and October, maybe we were in the same situation. And guess what? I was doing September, October. Well, maybe I wasn't thinking about my hockey as much. Maybe I wasn't committed to being there on time. Maybe I didn't put the work in when it need to be put. Worked in. So there's. There's definitely times. Again, you don't need to say this publicly. You just need to say this internally. You just need to know, did I do what I needed to do to prepare myself and did I up, you know, was I an uplifting person in my locker room to help my teammates succeed and where we wanted to ultimately go? If your goal at the end of the season was just to make the playoffs and compete. Did you reach that goal? And then what did you do to help accomplish that goal? If you're, if you're, if you're. The end result, the only result was that you had to win a championship at the end of the year. Then think about the things that you did leading up to that that led to you doing it or not doing it. And did you contribute or not contribute? Were you a positive influence or a negative influence? And we all know as players, you know, if you really helped or not, you know, if you hindered the development of your team or not. And this is a really great time for you and yourself to think about that, reflect on it, and then act on it. 

Lee MJ Elias [11:11 - 12:25]: I love it, Mike. And kids, just remember, it might kind of just alluded to this. There's a lot of ways to win in a hockey season. It's not always the big trophy at the end of the year. You win by developing. You win by creating friendships. You win by being a good teammate. You win by, you know, achieving a goal that you've been trying to achieve or skills that you've been trying to achieve. You win by having great character. You win by learning. All right? These are not little side silver linings I'm talking about. These are real wins in your life, okay? Winning trophies is absolutely awesome. I'm not gonna downplay it, kids, but there's more than one win to a season. If you can find those wins and learn from those wins throughout the year, you're going to be a far more productive hockey player, far more productive person, friend, you know, kid, whatever it is. All right, That's. That's. That's the real truth in hockey. In the future, we're going to talk about things you can do in the off season, aside from hockey. But for now, make sure you're looking. If you need a break, take a break. Otherwise, we love you kids. You guys are doing a great job. Remember, no matter where you're at on the hockey journey, we believe in you. You should, too. All right, kids. For Mike, I'm Lee. This has been another episode of the Ride to the Rink. Remember, skate hard. Have fun. We'll see on the next episode. Everybody take.